Title :In A Color Resembling You
Pairing(s)/Fandom : Yaotome Hikaru x Inoo Kei / Hey! Say! JUMP
Author : ma_rendezvous
Genre : AU. Romance
Rating : NC-17
Disclaimer : Say I own the story. The rests are idols, everyone owns these idols. Ha!
A/N :A kind of serious question : do people still read Hikanoo fanfics?
Summary : Hikaru was drunk pretty bad that night, and he hooked some random stranger up and brought him to his apartment for a one night stand. But the night developed, and the flower bloomed. This stranger, then, became a significant part of Hikaru's life.
- Oneshot -
Hikaru couldn’t believe what he’d just done; hooking up a complete stranger into a one night stand.
Yesterday wasn’t a good day, he could remember that part pretty clearly. College had been frustrating, his moody professor had suddenly threw him blame for something he didn’t even do, and his mother hadn’t helped one bit—her scolding him when his brain’s screaming for everything to just stop felt like a stab on his back. Loneliness was something Hikaru’s afraid of. He was pretty sure being home alone would make him even more depressed, and therefore at the end of the day he ended up dragging his feet into a night club and drank the darkest whiskey until he’s screwed. He didn’t remember, nonetheless, how he met this particular male or how the other party’s agreed to go back to Hikaru’s small apartment in a rural area of Tokyo, not to mention how they ended up having sex and sleeping the night off together, completely defenseless in all their glory.
Sitting on his study chair, wearing only his boxers around his waist, Hikaru leaned his back against his study chair’s backrest, his eyes scanning closely the other male’s figure; pale skin, body not quite skinny but pretty good in shape, his dyed brown hair falling and covering almost half of his face. Hikaru could still see the other’s sleeping face clearly, but he couldn’t describe him with other than beautiful. He was amazed by those long eyelashes and full lips, as well as those cheeks which were flushing pink. Probably it’s the alcohol, Hikaru thought to himself. Besides, they were both drunk pretty bad last night.
Is he, too, feeling lonely?
Hikaru’s supposed to go to his class in two hours, but he didn’t have the heart to wake the pale brunet up. He was there doing nothing but gazing at the sleeping face of the stranger, until at one point those eyelids began to flutter.
The other male woke up then, slowly raising up, using his hands to support his weight on Hikaru’s twin size bed. It was obvious from his face that he was having a bad hangover, just like what Hikaru had been through about an hour earlier, yet despite the obviousness of the draining color on the pale brunet’s face, Hikaru still found him very pretty.
“Where is this?” The guy asked nervously when his eyes met with Hikaru’s, and for some reason, Hikaru’s heart skipped a beat.
Of course he won’t remember.
“It’s my apartment,”
The pale brunet made an ‘o’ with his lips, seemingly like he’s accepting the fact that he’d slept with Hikaru—which made Hikaru felt kind of relieved and less guilty. However, before he could speak up more words, his eyes widened, and he immediately covered his mouth with both of his palms. Hikaru was alerted by this. He stood up from his chair right away and approached him, but then the guy pushed his shoulder away before running naked to his bathroom. A bit surprised, Hikaru watched the guy vanished from his sight with his eyes wide open, but he sighed when he heard the other throwing up in the water closet.
Sighing, Hikaru got off of his bed to get a glass of water and brought it to the bathroom. He hopped down on one knee beside the pale guy, who’s still throwing up the remainings in his digestive system into the closet. Gently and carefully, Hikaru helped rubbing the other’s back, a little under his nape to make him feel better. Even after he was finished with emptying his stomach, Hikaru still massaged him as he offered the water, watching as pale brunet rehydrated himself in one big gulp.
Along the way, Hikaru was amazed by how soft his pale skin was.
“Do you need some aspirin?” Trying to shrug off his unnecessary mind, Hikaru kindly offered.
“Yes, please,” The other answered, his voice trembling and his breath uneven.
Letting go off him, Hikaru stood up and opened a cabinet to his left, where he usually kept his medicines. He took out a strip of aspirin and handed it to the other male, after he flushed the closet and closed its lid. He received the medicine from Hikaru as he sat on top of the closed lip of the closet, and drank two pills at once. He sighed, then, and leaned his back a little backwards, closing his eyes. Probably he’s feeling a little better already, but he still looked pretty bad, Hikaru thought, as he himself leaned his shoulder to the wall next to him.
“How much did you drink, really?” The owner of the room asked then, in pure curiousity.
“Actually, I’m kind of weak with alcohol. I’ll always have really bad hangover, that’s why I hate it.” The other said, chuckling, without opening his eyes.
There was an awkward silence then, for the other male seemed like he didn’t want to answer Hikaru’s question. Hikaru didn’t mean it personal, but perhaps the other male’s only reason for drinking liquid he said he hated must be because of some very deep matter. Hikaru bowed his head down, feeling a little ashamed of himself for asking such question. In addition, this was a stranger. Hikaru didn’t even know his name in the first place.
Hikaru tensed, though, when suddenly he at one point became fully aware that this pretty stranger was still naked wholly. When the guy opened his eyes, he ran his fingers to some place between his thighs, feeling the draining remainings of white liquid dripping off of his entrance. Right, they went to sleep without showering last night, of course his semen would still be there, showing the world that they had a great drunken intercourse—he was probably too drunk to remember that there was this invention in the world to support safe sex called condom. Hikaru’s face was burning and he blushed really hard that he’s sure his complexion was no different with a boiled crab at the moment. He threw his gaze away, too ashamed to look back at the curious person sitting on his closet.
“…Did we—last night, you know?”
But Hikaru heard a laughter instead, and when he glanced at the pale brunet, he only smiled in amusement. Surely, the guy was also embarassed of what had happened between the two of them, but he didn’t look like he’s ashamed for showing his naked body and all his vulnerability when they were sober eventually. The comfortable atmosphere felt as if they had known each other for a long time, as if after a long time of stargazing in their long journey through this universe, finally, they had found each other.
“It’s okay,” The guy answered, lowering his gaze, but his eyes gentle as they landed on the bathroom floor. There was relief in his voice, no guilt, not until all of a sudden, he snapped his head and stared at Hikaru with eyes wide open. “What time is it?”
Hikaru peeked at the wall clock outside of his bathroom. “About nine.”
“Damn, I have class!” The pale brunet stood up immediately, the color in his face draining again, and Hikaru almost didn’t believe that he’s also human, just like himself. “Can I use your bathroom? I surely need to shower before I leave.”
“Of course.” Hikaru also stood up straight. He was about to step out of the bathroom when he remembered he only lived alone. “But I only have one towel, is it okay if we share?”
“Yeah, it’s okay. Thanks.”
A moment after the guy’s quick shower, he got dressed real quickly and excused himself from Hikaru’s apartment. He looked like in a terrible hurry, so even after Hikaru didn’t have the heart to stop him. He escorted the stranger to the nearest bus stop who’d take him to the nearest station. And as they bid goodbye, Hikaru smiled contentedly because the smile the other male blew him was the sweetest smile he’d ever received in his life. That very moment, Hikaru forgot all his yesterday’s tightropes, his shoulder became light and his head clear as the bright blue sky above.
He was happy, thanks to him. And deep inside, he wanted so bad to see him again.
Yet, at his way back home, Hikaru cursed himself, for he forgot to ask for the other’s name.
The second time they met, it was at a small Starbucks café nearest to Meiji University, two whole months after their secret rendezvous. It was an unintended meeting, though, because Hikaru’s own campus was far away, and he had mostly forgotten about his one night stand. He and his friends had been going around the town to gather some muses for their illustration assignment—in which they barely got any—and his mostly frustrated friends had dragged him into the café forcefully for a leisure, or at least a small time to rest. Hikaru had been complaining endlessly—why do we have to go here, why don’t we just go to Ueno Park or Yoyogi Park or somewhere else where we can find green trees and not artificial coffees, you can just draw trash bins, I can’t concentrate working in a crowded café like this!—his voice was a little too loud that some people who were also lining up glancing annoyedly at him, silently yelling at him to just shut up.
It was until he turned his face to face the cashier when he fell quiet, the memories of that night filling back his whole being like a water poured into a glass.
“Welcome to Starbucks, how can I help you?” He greeted, with much cheerfulness, much liveliness in his voice, and again, Hikaru was mesmerized and stoned still. The pale male was standing there with white shirt and green Starbucks apron, grinning, his eyes wide in somewhat excitement when he saw Hikaru, and Hikaru could swear he felt like melting like a butter. “It’s you!”
“Hi, ugh, I didn’t— I,” Hikaru didn’t know why he was so nervous. He didn’t know why his nape felt so chill, like he’s talking with a ghost. But this was one beautiful ghost, so he couldn’t help but chuckle and stutter. “I didn’t know you work here.”
“Well, I didn’t know you’d come!”
“My friends dragged me here, we’re kind of trying to find some inspiration.”
Thanks, Yaotome, now you’re gonna make him freak out for your unnecessary information.
“Hey, kid, hurry up! The line is worming!” Someone behind him yelled impatiently, and Hikaru turned his head to the source of voice in pure surprise. He bowed a little to apologize to the middle-aged uncle, before turning back to the pale brunet, who was apparently smiling bemusedly, making Hikaru all shy and even more nervous if possible.
“What would you order?”
“Something with caramel. Please, just give me some extra sugar.”
“Do you want us to write your name, Sir?”
Name, right, it’s a common thing Starbucks does, right?
“Yes, please. Hikaru,” His smile dropped a little after realization hit him; being friendly was what Starbucks’ baristas do, and asking for names was probably what’s written in their contract. But Hikaru couldn’t help but being hopeful, for probably he’d be remembered in the future. “It’s Hikaru.”
To Hikaru’s surprise, however, after paying for his coffee, the pale brunet asked for his co-worker to replace him a moment in the cashier as he himself moved to the bar. With expertise, he made a medium sized caramel coffee for about a minute, while Hikaru was just there standing in front of the bar, watching him, amazed in the best way possible. When the guy was finished, he took a marker and turned his head to Hikaru, smiling so warmly at Hikaru that his heart skipped another beat.
“Wait,” Before the pale brunet handed him his coffee he realized he didn’t want everything to just stop there. There was a possibility for them to meet each other again in this café, and Hikaru didn’t want to miss such chance. With his hopeful eyes Hikaru dared himself to ask, “And your name is?”
“Inoo-kun!” The previous Starbucks barista called out from behind the cashier bar.
“Yes, please wait for a moment!” Hikaru watched it as the other chimed back, and he felt sad and disappointed at the same time because he wouldn’t have any more time to talk with him. “Thank you, Sir! Please come again!” Inoo said, before leaving Hikaru alone in front of the bar after biding a friendly smile.
He took his cup of caramel coffee and walked to his friends’ table. As he sat, he put his glass on the table. It wasn’t until fifteen minutes later that he realized the letters written on his glass. Under his own name, Hikaru, written in full alphabet, there written another name which wasn’t his. It consisted of only three letters, yet Hikaru couldn’t find any other name as perfect match as this pale guy and his name, and he couldn’t help but smile to himself.
For some reasons, he felt special already.
That day, at this certain Starbucks coffee shop nearest to Meiji University, Hikaru drew his cup, with his name and Kei’s written on it, on his sketchbook.
He couldn’t find Kei anywhere for the next two weeks, and he was pretty much frustrated. He had come in days and nights, in hope to see Kei again and get a chance to talk to him a little longer, to get to know the other better. But the pale guy was never anywhere to be seen, and Hikaru was getting tired of going to Starbucks in daily basis because he’s, in fact, a jobless college student. In his third week, he began lessening his visit there, from twice a week to once a week, and after a month and a half of becoming regular customer of the coffee shop, he decided to stop.
Maybe Kei’s no longer working there, maybe one of his co-workers told him that he’s being stalked and he freaked out so he never took the shift in times when Hikaru usually visited the shop, maybe he he was just not meant for Kei and God didn’t want them to meet ever again. Hikaru had these negative thoughts about their counterfeit for as long as he could remember, and even after another two weeks, he still couldn’t stop thinking about Kei’s being. Sometimes his face would just show up randomly in the blue sky, his smile would adore Hikaru’s nights before he went to slumber. Even when he touched his basses, he could still remember the softness of Kei’s skin. The worst part was probably those times when Kei visited him in his dreams. But Hikaru always shrugged his dirty thought off, not wanting to portray the other male like a creep.
In the bright side, he no longer visited night clubs, and his friends realized it quite late. Hikaru always declined their invitations, and never once he attended blind dates his friends had arranged. He suddenly became a diligent college student, always working on his assignments without complaining and submitting his works in time. Somehow he was full of muse; he could draw and make everything without that much of difficulty anymore—illustration of the clouds in the blue sky, a seagull flying above the horizon of the blue ocean, an abstract gradation of the color blue—all thanks to Kei who had become his source of inspiration. Still, he could’t remember how, why, and since when a random stranger who he’d met randomly at a random club and shared random kisses and had a random drunk sex with had become this significant in his life.
I’ve indeed become a creep, ain’t I?
Hikaru could have never been able to answer his own question until that certain cold night.
Walking down the narrow street of his friend’s neighborhood after a long day of finishing his other illustration assignment, he dropped by a convenience shop on the corner of the street and bought two cans of cheap 350ml beers. As he walked back down, he opened one of his beers and drank it a little carelessly. He watched waiters closing their café, studied some salary-men who walked really fast, and some street mucisians playing an acoustic guitar while singing. There weren’t many people on this certain street, yet it gave Hikaru a good atmosphere for some reason.
He was gulping his cold beer when someone from his opposite direction, wearing only black sports pants and an oversized white t-shirt, a plastic bag of grocery hanging from his right hand with two leeks sticking out of it, stopped some feet away in front of him and called his name.
Hikaru’s heart was beating like mad straightaway. Never in this world had Hikaru imagined to meet him again like this, but that night when he finally saw Kei again after months, he realized he had never smiled this wide in his life before.
They went to the nearest park, fully aware that it’s past ten already and some light streets should have been turned off. But they sat there an iron fence, completely ignoring the ticking time, watching the star-less sky and talking about lots of things in their lives. It was probably because they had kissed and had sex before that they miraculously could be so open about themselves with each other, but above all, it felt like there were no barriers between them. The night was chill, but sitting next to Kei was comfortable, and Hikaru kept on taking glances at the guy next to him, because finally he remembered how beautiful Kei was.
At last, Hikaru could talk with Kei longer; even a little too long. In their small talks, Hikaru told about himself and his study in visual communication, and that he’s broken home since he’s ten and been living with his mother alone until he graduated from high school. In return, he found out about Kei more than he’d imagined, that Kei was half a year older than him, and he’s an architecture student of Meiji University, that’s why he worked part-time at Starbucks nearest to his campus. But he resigned from his job two days after his meeting with Hikaru because he couldn’t take too many part-time jobs at one time, while his other part-time job, in which paid him better than Starbucks—that is becoming a server in Sukiya—drained his energy, he’d said. Hikaru dared to ask why did he need to take many jobs, and Kei said it’s because his older brother, his only family that was left, who had been the one he’s depending on since he was a little, was really sick, and he needed lots of money to cover the hospital bills, as well as to pay his tuition fees and survive his daily life alone.
And Hikaru could somehow understand why Kei decided to take liquors that he hated that certain night they’d met.
But Kei laughed it off, because somehow, he thought his story was funny enough.
“It’s a typical life crisis, right? Like I actually come out of a drama.” There was still a trace of bitter laughter after that, and Hikaru could feel it in the air. Kei was smiling, but his smile was obviously a sad one, and Hikaru instinctively wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Really, they hadn’t known each other for too long but holding Kei like this felt just right.
“No, sometimes life could be a little unbearable indeed. But you’ve worked hard, you’re like the thoughest person I’ve ever met.” Hikaru said in a serious tone, and Kei’s smile dropped a little in awe. The younger of the two watched it as Kei’s expression changed from being sad into being hopeful, and Hikaru couldn’t be prouder of himself.
“Thanks, Hikaru-kun. I’ve never been this honest to other people before.” Kei chuckled shyly, a pale shade of red appeared in his face yet Hikaru failed to notice. “Have you had dinner?”
“Yeah, if two slices of pizza’s counted as dinner, then I have.” Hikaru pouted as he gaze onto the night sky once again, his memory threw him back to earlier in the night he spent at his classmate’s apartment. Nobody cooked and Hikaru couldn’t find anything to cook in his friend’s fridge, so they just randomly ordered some delivery pizza, but even two pans of large pizza weren’t enough to feed four hungry bears; in the end Hikaru only ate two slices because he’s the only one not ditching their group assignment.
Kei laughed, but this time his laughter sounded contented, and Hikaru smiled in relief as he stared back at Kei’s side profile. From this close proximity, Hikaru could feel the other’s breath and the warmth radiated from his body, and his own heart became as warm in return.
“I just got home from hospital and I’m planning to make dinner, if you’d like to come to my place, we could have dinner together.”
“Sure!” Hikaru answered with his eyes wide in excitement. Of course, Hikaru wouldn’t let this chance just slipped away from his hands.
“But I can’t cook, so please bear with my cooking. Without my brother, I usually just fry everything or boil everything with miso paste.”
“Oh, then you’re lucky you met me. Trust me, I’m the best cook in the world!”
Kei’s apartment, which turned out located still around his classmate’s neighborhood, was a little bigger than Hikaru’s own—only a little, for it had two spearated bedrooms inside and felt a little stifled with stuff; there were a keyboard on one side of the room and a big drawing desk right next to it. The white wall was adorned with pictures of his and his older brother, some pictures framed with decorative papers showed Hikaru how close the two of them was; Kei’s older brother was taller, his hair jet black, and while Kei was pretty, his older brother looked a lot more masculine, and yet Hikaru could see the resemblance of the two. There was also a picture of their parents, but it was framed with yellow ribbons, so Hikaru supposed they’d lost them some times ago.
The pale brunet truly had nothing but miso paste and raw ingredients, but surprisingly, the seasonings were all there. The kitchen equipments were also a full set; Kei even had a hotpot saved in his cabinet, which surprised Hikaru in the best way possible.
“Wait, you said you can’t cook!”
“I can’t! But my brother is a chef, that can’t be helped!” Kei said proudly with a grin on his face.
“Re— really?!” Hikaru’s face turned red. Well, he had just showing off how skillful he was in cooking to a brother of a chef, of course that’s something embarassing.
Lucky for him, Kei wasn’t the type to judge his stupid behavior, and instead, goofying around with the older was so natural and fun. Hikaru cooked a pot of nabe for the two of them, and they ate together like a couple of lovers who’d live in a shared apartment for so long. The night’s getting late yet they were feeling comfortable in each other’s company. They even ended up cuddling on Kei’s couch after cleaning up their finished dinner, with Kei laying his head on Hikaru’s shoulder, and Hikaru’s long fingers softly stroking Kei’s hair as they watched some random television show. It felt artless, like they belonged to each other from the very beginning, like they’d been longing for each other since forever, like God had made them for one another.
It was on a commercial break when Kei tilted up his head and stared at Hikaru somewhat pleadingly.
“ Hikaru,” He called in a trembling voice, and as he stared at those begging brown orbs, Hikaru felt like he could lose his mind there and then. “Please, stay for the night,”
What do you do to me, Kei?
Maybe it was loneliness that took place. Maybe they just needed a good company, maybe all the comfortable and heart-warming feelings were artificial, but Hikaru couldn’t help it. His brain stopped thinking and his heart took over all of his being. Yeah, maybe it’s because the two of them were lonely and sad, because what else could it be, if not because of alcohol, unlike their first night together. Today they were completely sober, but Hikaru could feel Kei wanted him as bad as he wanted the older. He leaned down and closed his eyes, crushing their lips together gently, with him only pressing his lips against Kei’s, waiting for the other to back off, in which Kei never did.
Instead, Hikaru felt Kei’s palm cupping his cheek as he kissed back, and Hikaru had all the reasons in the world to continue. He held Kei’s hand on his cheek, gently and softly nibbling on Kei’s upper lip as their contented breaths brushing against each other’s face, their chuckles vibrated in each other’s body and sent chill down their spines. Gradually, their gentle kisses turned into some more passionate ones. The moans Kei made when Hikaru roamed his tongue inside the older brunet’s craven made him realize that his dear crotch began to ache, and somehow as his mind became more clouded with desire, his other hand landed under Kei’s t-shirt, his fingers roaming, reminiscing the softness of the pale brunet’s skin. Their lips parted at some point, and then Hikaru pressed his lips on Kei’s forehead. He guided Kei’s hand to take off his belt, zipping down his zipper, revealing his half-hardened cock out for Kei to feel and see freely. With eyes only half lided, Hikaru buried his face on Kei’s hair, inhaling and taking the older’s smell into his lungs and racing heart.
The pale brunet’s palm was warm against his cock, and Hikaru loved the feel when the older began to stroke him up and down slowly. He kept on holding Kei so close in his arms as Kei stroke harder, and as he let out some lustful groans to Kei’s neck, his manhood had been completely hard. Kei kissed him on the lips and kept on stroking him as if he’s sucking whatever sounds Hikaru produced on his mouth into his own, and when Hikaru couldn’t help the excessive pleasure, he broke their kiss and let out a long sigh. Kei tucked his hair behind his ear and started bowing down, his mouth captured the head of Hikaru’s hard cock. As Kei took Hikaru full length into his craven, the younger of the two couldn’t help the urge to fuck that mouth a little harder.
“Kei,” When the pleasure became a bit too much, Hikaru held Kei’s shoulder and stopped him. Hikaru had never wanted to take someone so badly in his life before, but above all, he wanted Kei, because with him, everything felt so right in all the wrong way. In silence Hikaru asked whether it’s really okay for the two of them to do this, and to his surprise Kei smiled and kissed his cheek.
Kei took Hikaru’s hand and entwined their fingers together. He stood up and led Hikaru to the direction of his bedroom. But Hikaru’s mind had been so clouded with happiness and desire, that in the process he hugged Kei from behind and slipped his free hand under Kei’s t-shirt, his palm squeezing Kei’s chest, his fingers playing with a nipple, making the older lost his consentration altogether, and they ended up opening up the wrong door.
“Hikaru, it’s my brother’s—” Kei turned on his heels to face the younger, somehow instinctively circled his arms on Hikaru’s soulders, around Hikaru’s neck.
But, “Yeah?”, was Hikaru’s only response, as he crushed his lips once again onto Kei’s and shut him up right away. He pushed him gently, lying him onto the bed and straddling his hips, with him hovering above him intimately. The kisses never felt enough and Hikaru felt even hungrier. The light wasn’t switched on so the room was dark, but somehow, with his feet, Kei managed to slide the window open. Thankfully there was no taller building next to the room, so nobody would find out what they were apparently doing, The chill wind entered to the room, but their comfortable warmth dominated their whole beings.
When they parted their kiss, Hikaru could swear Kei was glowing under the moonlight, like a fairy, but a lot more human.
“Well, I guess he wouldn’t mind,” He smiled and chuckled, his cheeks smeared in pale shade of red, mesmerizing Hikaru for the umpteenth of times.
Hikaru wanted more; he neededto take and claim the older more, so he pulled out his t-shirt and jogging pants and everything else, leaving Kei all naked under him. He could sense that Kei was being so shy, but they had this kind of intercourse before, so it felt just natural and Hikaru chuckled. He bent down to spread butterfly kisses onto Kei’s shoulders and neck, and in the process grabbing the older’s cock into his hand. He began to stroke, to return the favor, and Kei wringled and moaned, tightening his arms around him like his life depended on it.
For Kei’s part, Hikaru’s touches were pleasant, and for Hikaru, leaving kisses along Kei’s body felt even more so. As his fingers playing with Kei’s buds, he traced his lips along the older’s chest down to his navel, and he licked it, sensually slowly. His hand stroke Kei’s already aroused member harder, and as he received a pleasured wail from the older’s lips, Hikaru kissed it and chuckled darkly as he sucked on his pre-cum, purposefully sending the vibration produced by his throat to electrocut Kei’s being from below and make him mewl.
And Kei whispered his name in a long sigh.
It was enough to drive him insane. Hikaru stroke Kei’s cock harder as he played with the other’s entrance. He made it wet with his own saliva, and while pushing one digit of finger into him, he thrusted and stroke him in an insane rhythm, to make Kei feel how crazy he had become. Kei was a mess under Hikaru’s control, and he was vulnerable under his spell. He came shamelessly on Hikaru’s hand, and above him, the younger was only staring at him lustfully. Hikaru’s fingers traced his entrance before pushing in two more digits into it, wetting it and preparing it with the older’s cum as a substitute for lubricant.
“Your clothes,” Kei whined as he landed his a grip on Hikaru’s t-shirt. “They’re in the way,”
Chuckling, Hikaru pecked Kei’s lips before getting up a little to take off his attributes.
“I am,” Kei answered, immediately locking his arms around Hikaru’s shoulders when the younger come back to him. He lett out a long, contented sigh when Hikaru pushed himself into his entrance.
Hikaru didn’t remember their first time together, not even one tiny bit thanks to the liquors that screwed their consciousness. But that very night, he made sure to treasure this moment with Kei. Because they were completely sober, and they’re completely aware of what they were doing; that they were doing this with mutual feeling and consent.
“Dai-chan,” Hikaru mumbled, staring at his A2 sketchbook, daydreaming. His mind wandered off somewhere else, only his body was what’s left inside his friend’s apartment. He didn’t notice that when his friend took a glance at him, he was smiling to himself. There was a contented sigh after his friend asked him what’s going on, and then he said, “I think I fall in love.”
“You actually have a heart?” Daiki smirked, teasing the taller male. Hikaru had been the friend of his who looked asexual the most; he was never found in love with anybody, never one to look for girlfriends nor even boyfriends proactively, and never talked about love and relationship all the years they’d been friends—which was since high school by then. It wasn’t like Hikaru hadn’t dated anyone before; he was quite popular and a major target of being confessed. It’s just that Daiki knew Hikaru was a picky kind of person, the divorce of his parents more than ten years ago was probably the prime reason he’s vulnerable. He got stressed a lot, and in Daiki’s eyes, Hikaru was a little bit heartless.
Therefore now that Hikaru said he’s in love with someone, it’s a little unbelievable.
“Shut up!” Hikaru gritted his teeth, feeling annoyed. He made another stroke on his sketch, drawing a line so careful like he’s treating a crystal glass.
“Yeah, yeah,” Daiki laughed. Deep down inside, Daiki felt relieved. “Who’s the lucky person, that girl from social science?”
“No.” Hikaru answered without looking up from his sketch. “He’s from Meiji University.”
“ Who? How do you know someone from Meiji University?” Daiki knitted his forehead.
“We met at a bar. He was kind of my,” Hikaru stopped drawing, but his eyes were still on his sketch. A shade of red appeared on his face, and Daiki, as his friends for years already, didn’t fail to catch a glimpse on it. “One night stand.”
“Your what?!” Daiki almost chocked in disbelief. That’s new, Daiki thought. Hikaru had never been one to take some people randomly onto his bed, and it sounded just impossible for the older of the two to be that open to some stranger, not to mention fall in love with them. “Hikaru, tell me, are you a masocist or just out of your mind? I mean, how can you trust a one night stand? How do you know he’s not fooling around with you—or if he’s not up to your money or something? What if he had a fiance—or worse, married? What if he’s a serial killer and you’re his next target, what if he’s a psychotic cannibal?!”
“Dai-chan, seriously.” Hikaru rolled his eyes and glanced at Daiki.
“I’m dead serious!” Daiki almost snapped. He was worried, but his friend in front of him had such determined gaze that he’d never seen before, and Daiki became confused whether it’d be okay to support him or not. Even if the one Hikaru fell in love with was actually a good person, there might still be some bad impacts on him. “ How would you know he’s the right person? Isn’t it too soon if you fall in love with your one night stand?”
“It’s never ‘too soon’. I’ve known him for months already.” Hikaru reasoned, remembering all his time together with Kei. His hand moved again at this point, trying to finish his sketch on the paper. “Besides, we’ve had it more than once.”
“Ew! I don’t wanna hear about that.”
“And he’s pretty.”
The look on Hikaru’s face was the look of longing, and he was obviously in love, as Daiki realized. Falling in love with someone new wasn’t a bad thing. Besides, he should be happy for his friend as long as they’re happy. Sighing, somehow, even if didn't want to believe himself, he still found himself smiling.
“Don’t masturbate in my apartment, damn it!” Daiki said jokingly, laughing as he threw a cushion to Hikaru and received an ‘ouch’ and some jester cusses from the other. “Anyway, I don’t know what I should do with my semester project! What are you gonna do?”
“I’m drawing his portrait.” Hikaru said, staring at the rough sketch on his sketchbook.
It was indeed Kei’s portrait, of the morning after their second intercourse, where he leaned his chin on the frame of the open window, the perfectly clear blue sky adorning his back as his a perfect background. In his sketch Kei was smiling sweetly, beautifully, just like what Hikaru had remembered, and his heart felt warm. This was Kei’s color—the warm color of the sky—and Hikaru loved even the tiniest bit of it.
I’m gonna tell him what I feel.
Even when it’s cloudy and cold that day, Hikaru was still high spirited and bright. After some weeks concentrating on his killing assignments, he wanted to visit and see Kei so bad. They’d exchanged mails, of course, like a couple of lovers, but wasn’t contacting one another too often due to their own busy college schedules. Hikaru’s professor was, as usual, exasperating, giving him and his team two weeks deadline for a big project which seemed quite impossible for undergraduates. On the other side, Kei was majoring in architecture, so he might be twice busier than Hikaru himself. Still, the promising meeting of the two of them was enough to energize him to the fullest.
However, though he was already nearing Kei’s residence, the rain fell heavily on his way all of a sudden, and Hikaru hurriedly hid under the canopy of a bus stop. He didn’t tell Kei that he was coming, thinking that he wanted to surprise the other with his visit. But now that it’s raining and he didn’t bring umbrella with him, it seemed impossible to reach Kei’s apartment without getting all wet.
Perhaps it’s better to tell him where I am now.
Hikaru fished out his phone and started typing a text message to be sent to Kei, when suddenly, he caught a glimpse of the older’s figure on the other side of the street. With eyes widened in surprise, Hikaru watched it as Kei walked down the sidewalks without umbrella, letting himself be soaked under the rain, his right hand holding a bucket of yellow flowers. And Hikaru was hesitant at first, wondering to himself why would the pale brunet do that. He ended up following Kei from far behind, nonetheless, and he was even more surprised when they entered a cemetery.
Kei stopped and stood still in front of a tombstone as the rain fell heavier, and even from afar Hikaru could swore those eyes were dropping some tears.
Hikaru’s heart felt uncomfortable seeing his loved one crying under the rain. Its force drew his brain to drag his feet and approach Kei and stood next to him, not minding being wet and all. He knew it wouldn’t help lessen much of the pain in Kei’s heart, but he wanted to tell the older that, even in silence, he was there for him, right by his side. When Hikaru’s eyes landed on the thombstone, he realized whom Kei was mourning for; it’s his older brother.
“What am I gonna do without him?”
There was a crack in Kei’s voice; the voice that had always been cheerful and energetic in Hikaru’s ears. Hikaru’s heart tightened, his eyes staring at Kei’s side profile in silence. Only the sound of the heavy rain that could be heard, but the rain had successfully convinced him that he had, indeed, found the right person for him. Everybody had scars of their own, everybody hurt, everybody lost somebody, but there was always someone who’d support them to stand straight again, to fight their darkest time in order to live on, to be happy. And this was Kei; even when the sky's no longer blue, he was still Kei that Hikaru knew.
Hikaru grabbed Kei’s left hand with his right and entwined their fingers together gently. When Kei squeezed back, he smiled.
“Move in with me.”
- Major inspiration came from Asian Kung Fu Generation's Kimi to iu Hana. My band had a project in this song and it kept repeating in my head, forcing me to spill it out into a fanfic. And voila, this fanfic happens! wwwww
- No, seriously guys, is Hikanoo ship still sailing in this fandom? Why does it feel like I'm the only one sailing on it? :'(